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martymexico
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2010/09/10 13:45:20
T_Mark

You know you drive an escort when...

As the title suggests.

You know you drive an escort when...

All the windows fog up when it rains and your windscreen wipers are crap.

You guys should should have heaps of these
99 comments Leave a comment
2lt_Scort
You brake hard or corner hard and the windscreen washer water squirts on the window.
2010/09/10 14:06:55
maxrs
When your girlfriend is the starter motor, push starting all the time.


2010/09/10 14:47:29
escortinadriver
Old guys approach you at the servo/shopping centre and say, 'I used to have one like that'...... 'Does it have the twincam engine?' etc etc...
2010/09/10 15:00:09
JamesR
when you have the RACV/NRMA/ ect on speed dial [xx(]
2010/09/10 17:31:26
martymexico
When a Huntsman spider wanders across your windscreen......on the inside!!!
2010/09/10 18:20:25
David W
(1) You start braking early for the next corner - starting to brake as you leave the last corner should give you enough time.

(2) Your wife refuses to drive the car (no problem here)

(3) You can fix nearly anything that goes wrong with it mechanically - that's because you have had to fix the same problem in the past.
2010/09/10 18:24:43
joeyjonsey
your doing well if your driving it, and not underneath it!!!
2010/09/10 18:26:42
fordsy
You've had your highbeams on for the last three hours and no one has noticed.
2010/09/10 19:09:07
mud
You approach a seemingly harmless corner and then next thing you know you're upside down. Or is that just me? [:x)]
2010/09/10 21:41:08
PeterM

The engine oil level keeps dropping but the engine doesn't blow any smoke....

All of your friends and family bought new cars 25 years ago, however you still refuse to let the old girl go

You are on pole at the traffic lights on a multi lane road, the lights go green, you take off, however you cause a bank up of traffic behind you as new cars race to overtake
2010/10/10 00:00:38
Sterling
quote:
Originally posted by fordsy

You've had your highbeams on for the last three hours and no one has noticed.


hahahahahaha mine are on all the time!

and i dont know about you T_Mark but the wipers in my mk2 are sick!

anyway, You know you drive an escort when....

-your able to fix a broken throttle cable with a key ring

-your able to limp the car home with a $1 coin

-your ignition barrel refuses to turn even with the steering lock free

-when you start getting nervous because the big hill coming up ahead may cause the engine temp to go higher than the speed your doing
2010/10/10 00:32:54
JVC063
When the smile doesn't leave your face. when behind the wheel
2010/10/10 08:01:54
Scott
quote:
Originally posted by martymexico

When a Huntsman spider wanders across your windscreen......on the inside!!!


I had two of them today!


-you know where you park it when the concrete is blacker then the rest
2010/10/10 15:05:57
martymexico
when it rains your feet get saturated.

..the front end is so worn & sloppy you hit the brakes & the wobble gets so violent the passenger door bursts open !
2010/11/10 19:12:20
JamesR
you have run out of petrol too many times to remember cos the gauge is never right.
2010/11/10 19:25:16
krt10
continuing on from james. you car smells like petrol cus you have to carry a jerry can in the boot for when you run out of fuel.

you carry superglue with you all the time so you can re fit the mirror when it falls off.
2010/11/10 21:35:19
jorgan92
....when you take a left hand corner too fast and your door swings open. -.-
2010/12/10 08:10:54
escortinadriver
You have a couple of spare small bolts that fit as fuses 'just in case'


2010/12/10 08:58:48
Scott
quote:
Originally posted by JamesR

you have run out of petrol too many times to remember cos the gauge is never right.


On a similar note.


You consider your self lucky when the fuel gauge is working.
2010/12/10 12:35:36
fordsy
you cook the back of your legs on the seat on any sunny day.
2010/12/10 13:17:38
JordyCharlieBoz
You have to tuck it into bed at night (ie parked in garage with a blanket over the engine bay) if you want any chance of starting it in the morning.
2010/12/10 14:30:57
Scott
You have have a smile on your face while driving.
2010/12/10 15:25:31
pj
When all your friends think you are nuts for driving one
PJ
2010/12/10 15:46:26
muzza
When on fast take off at the lights you flat shift into 2nd and the gearstick comes off.
2010/12/10 17:56:02
harrier
quote:
Originally posted by muzza

When on fast take off at the lights you flat shift into 2nd and the gearstick comes off.


So I'm not the only one....[88][88][88][88]
2010/12/10 19:41:11
Juiceman
These are all the things that give the little Escort its character!

You know you drive an Escort when:
you have to fiddle with the plugs in the back of the dash to make the dash lights work.

your indicators stop working when you put your foot on the brake.

you're able to change a diff in 30mins because you've had that much practice at it.

you're able to get the motor out in 30mins to an hour because you've also had practice at that too.

you pull the windscreen washer gear out because it's so completely rubbish that you decide you might as well make room for more go fasts instead.

your neighbours ask you at least once a month if you're alright when you've got your car on jack stands, you have the rear leafs loosened and your against the wall kicking the drivers side rear tyre to centre the diff again.

I could go on...
2010/12/10 21:46:53
krt10
your mates aren't suprised when they see it being pulled apart......again

all true juiceman. got my diff changing skills to under 20 mins now lol
2010/12/10 21:47:10
Mark
They are all too true, we have "escortitis" .......There is no remedy, once caught it is a life long disease...
2010/10/14 13:29:18
smallvan
Its cheaper to buy parts in the UK, than in Australia
And they know what you are talking about [88]
2010/10/14 16:43:27
shannon
when its hotter out side then your heater
2010/10/14 19:15:42
PeterM
When it is raining, there is more water inside the escort than outside!
2010/10/14 21:26:03
Sterling
your horn doesnt work when youve got the headlights on,

the alternator light comes on when you brake

if you hold down the horn, then brake the horn note changes

if you brake the horn doesnt work

....lol
2010/10/14 22:41:18
David W
1 - If you have to leave the car parked in a public place, you use a steering lock. This is not to deter theives, but a sign to the police that its not an abandanoed car. [:x)]


2 - You talk to senior citizens at the local shopping centre car park to see if they will sell their 1 owner Escort that is straight a dye with virtually no miles on it. Your eyeing off what you could get for the original parts on it, or the idea that you have a sound body to strip the car and convert it into something that will cause carnage on a race track.
2010/10/15 07:04:34
PeterM

"1 - If you have to leave the car parked in a public place, you use a steering lock. This is not to deter theives, but a sign to the police that its not an abandanoed car." [88][88][88][88]
2010/10/15 20:24:07
krt10
quote:
Originally posted by smallvan

Its cheaper to buy parts in the UK, than in Australia
And they know what you are talking about [88]


when you say "pinto" or "kent" they dont think you talking about cigar/smokes
2010/10/15 23:45:27
muzza
Your spraying WD-40 in the distribitor to dry up the points!
2010/10/16 00:14:58
SaggaRS
If you lock the keys in it you can use anyones key (pop stick) to unlock the door.

It's a miracle if the interior light works when you open the door.





2010/10/16 14:33:14
Juiceman
How about this...you know you DON'T drive an Escort when it takes you many weekends of diciphering the sh!t in the engine bay just to pull the motor out and whack a new one in and it doesn't get done in half a day.

I am indeed talking about my Skyline...hahaha. Stupid technology.
2010/10/16 19:16:03
Scott
quote:
Originally posted by Juiceman

How about this...you know you DON'T drive an Escort when it takes you many weekends of diciphering the sh!t in the engine bay just to pull the motor out and whack a new one in and it doesn't get done in half a day.

I am indeed talking about my Skyline...hahaha. Stupid technology.


I know the feeling, it took me 5 minutes to work out how to top up the radiator in my AU Falcon[xx(]
2010/10/16 21:58:22
jimmyd
... you position your car at club displays at just the right angle so it doesn't leak when it rains.

... your car 'warps' sideways out of roundabouts.

... you still can't stop grinning like a simpleton 3 hours after parking you car.

... you are a middle age accountant that can talk passionately about a car he has been driving for 20 years.

2010/10/16 22:33:50
David W
If you have to go somewhere with other people, they always offer to drive their car
2010/10/17 09:54:47
krt10
you break up with your girlfriend because she is taking time away from building your escort
2010/10/17 20:59:41
Sterling
when atleast half of your friends (mostly chicks) cant understand why your still driving a car that owes you double what its worth
2010/10/17 22:17:46
JordyCharlieBoz
Only double sterling! Your a lucky man.
You know your driving an escort when you have to ask people if they have a hammer to unstick the solenoid on the starter motor. (I started carrying my own hammer after this)
2010/10/18 09:29:12
Juiceman
In relation to the hammer vs starter motor comment.

When you're at a ski racing event and the starter motor won't engage on a $300,000 super class twin whipple charged big block ski racing boat and you say "let me get my hammer" and people stop talking to you.
2010/10/18 14:54:02
David W
quote:
Originally posted by Sterling

when atleast half of your friends (mostly chicks) cant understand why your still driving a car that owes you double what its worth


Go and check your numbers - you'll find you've spent more then 2 times what its worth.

How come chicks talk to you with a car like this? It doesn't work for me & I'll use a sympathy vote whenever I can.
2010/10/18 20:09:12
Juiceman
Another one:

When you have to try and prove over and over again that your car is tough and not cute.

(Ps 1000 posts...fwarrrk)
2010/10/18 20:34:33
PeterM
"you break up with your girlfriend because she is taking time away from building your escort"

How about this: The Mrs (we have been together for 9 years) backs off when I am working on my Escort panel van.

She learen't very early on in our relationship that the Escort must take the priority. Simply because the Escort has been in my life since April 1986, however she has only been around since February 2001.

She got me grumbly early in our relationship when I was working on the Escort, and I informed her of this.

It has never since been challenged.
2010/10/18 21:31:03
Sterling
quote:
Originally posted by JordyCharlieBoz

Only double sterling! Your a lucky man.
You know your driving an escort when you have to ask people if they have a hammer to unstick the solenoid on the starter motor. (I started carrying my own hammer after this)




quote:
Originally posted by David W

quote:
Originally posted by Sterling

when atleast half of your friends (mostly chicks) cant understand why your still driving a car that owes you double what its worth


Go and check your numbers - you'll find you've spent more then 2 times what its worth.

How come chicks talk to you with a car like this? It doesn't work for me & I'll use a sympathy vote whenever I can.



yeah i checked my numbers, she owes me around the $4000 mark, obviously not including fluids and what not, and i figure its worth atleast $2000

but im about to transplant its third motor, so this will bring it closer to $5K

and yeah ive been through the solenoid stick situation before
but instead of a hammer i would carry a 13mm spanner, so i could quickly disconnect the battery, then put the car in gear, and rock it which would usually disengage it.
2010/10/19 08:42:08
JamesR
i just made the mistake of relying on the escort today. it let me down.
was fine yesterday, so i took my daily off the road for an engine changeover, get up for work today, wont start. starter just throws gear out, but wont turn over. no work today then!
2010/10/19 08:51:47
JordyCharlieBoz
quote:
Originally posted by Juiceman


When you have to try and prove over and over again that your car is tough and not cute.

Very true!

One for the younger guys with Escorts:
You know you drive an escort when you have to correct your non car minded friends when they say "Is that a Torana?" or "I thought it was a Torana"
2010/10/19 11:25:18
jorgan92
quote:
Originally posted by JordyCharlieBoz

quote:
Originally posted by Juiceman


When you have to try and prove over and over again that your car is tough and not cute.

Very true!

One for the younger guys with Escorts:
You know you drive an escort when you have to correct your non car minded friends when they say "Is that a Torana?" or "I thought it was a Torana"

or Gemini or Cortina -.-
2010/10/19 12:55:25
Scott
...or Sigma. My RS may be part Sigma (Diff and rear disc brakes) but it ain't no Sigma!
2010/10/19 14:07:21
martymexico
One for the younger guys with Escorts:
You know you drive an escort when you have to correct your non car minded friends when they say "Is that a Torana?" or "I thought it was a Torana"


Yep, had that 1. I pulled into a carpark as a couple of kids (about 10yrs old) on their chrome scooters stopped me and asked "Is your car a Torana....looks fantastic", I replied " Nup, its much better, its a mk2 Escort", They couldnt care less after that !!

Got pulled over by the Plod many yrs ago for a suspectly low car, when the oroficer asked the type of car i had, i asked him to guess since he knew what he pulled me in for..after his 5 attempt at names like Telstar, Laser, Meteor, Cortina etc. I told him in the end what it was and i avoided getting it defected as it was 1mm above the lowest limit !!
2010/10/19 20:42:11
Chippa666
A current one for me:-

You know you drive an Escort when...........
1)the purchase of your new house revolves around whether there is enough space in the garage to park it!!
2) said house alao has enough room for all the spare parts needed to keep it going!
3)your wife of 6 years curses the car that you've had longer than you've known her and can't believe that it takes precedence over her and that she's missed out on her dream house because of it!!! hahaha.


I could go on and on with this!! [88]
2010/10/19 22:32:12
Sterling
quote:
Originally posted by JordyCharlieBoz

quote:
Originally posted by Juiceman


When you have to try and prove over and over again that your car is tough and not cute.

Very true!

One for the younger guys with Escorts:
You know you drive an escort when you have to correct your non car minded friends when they say "Is that a Torana?" or "I thought it was a Torana"


haha more times than i can remember, had cortina, Torana, gemini, datsun etc

its funny how so many people would ask me what it is, before looking at the "FORD" badge, even if its right in front of them!
2010/10/19 23:00:21
ozzy2dr
You know your an escort driver when you franticly search these forums for answers but get lost in the ore of it all...
2010/10/20 07:42:37
Bloodyeck
Only people with good senses of humour drive Escorts. That's obvious from the comments.
2010/10/20 13:13:49
maxrs
Every time you put nice clothes on, you have the need to work on the car.
It's my habit, after years of roadside troubleshooting.
2010/10/20 18:06:45
krt10
i suffer from that too. put some nice clothes on and end up having to fix somthing. i dont have any nice clothes anymore.

least it gives me memories. i can pull out a shirt and think "ah yes, fixed the starter with a rock and a metal pole that night" haha
2010/10/20 20:31:16
BryanS81
the missus always tells me off for working in good clothes...
LOL
2010/10/20 22:52:54
T_Mark


You know you drive an escort when..
- You drive through macca's and get the ****s because they didn't give you a cup tray, espescially if you have two drinks.

- You have to fill her up with petrol doggy style.[:x)]
2010/10/20 23:04:18
Sterling
you know u drive an escort when

(in my case)

you have to yell when going through the drivethrough because you cant hear the person through the speaker, and they ask you 3 times in a row, "what drink with that meal?" and each time you say "fanta", to which they reply, "sorry was that a water??"
2010/10/20 23:11:31
Sterling
you have to attempt to close the bootlid 3 or 4 times before it actually closes,

even when your not looking at the bootlid your still prepared for it to fly back up atleast once!

--------------------------------------------------------

when you get out of the car, you know 99% of the time the drivers door didn't close fully, so you push it in with your bum, without even checking!
2010/10/20 23:14:18
Juiceman
quote:
Originally posted by krt10

i suffer from that too. put some nice clothes on and end up having to fix somthing. i dont have any nice clothes anymore.

least it gives me memories. i can pull out a shirt and think "ah yes, fixed the starter with a rock and a metal pole that night" haha


Hahahaha all of my white shorts now have oil stains on them. I had to do a roadside diff change once in nice clothes. Not fun.
2010/10/21 07:03:58
Scott
wheres one for the RS owner's...
... you asking answer questions with "yes it is a real one"
You constantly get asked if it's a real one

You constantly get asked if it's for sale. To which you reply "no"
2010/10/21 18:30:02
krt10
quote:
Originally posted by Juiceman

quote:
Originally posted by krt10

i suffer from that too. put some nice clothes on and end up having to fix somthing. i dont have any nice clothes anymore.

least it gives me memories. i can pull out a shirt and think "ah yes, fixed the starter with a rock and a metal pole that night" haha


Hahahaha all of my white shorts now have oil stains on them. I had to do a roadside diff change once in nice clothes. Not fun.


haha yeah my best effort was a waterpump and timing belt on the side of the road in Sydney. im from Adelaide by the way. bought tools from a autobarn and went for it. it was on a celica though and i work for toyota so ive done a few before lol. got us home
2010/10/21 21:53:37
Regs RS
You Know you drive an Escort when
You've just got her back on the road after a while & you are concentrating on how that new engine is running, the weather is a bit dodgy so you need to use those freshly plumbed washers, so you try, try,...try,try,try...try,try..try..try,try,try,try......try & the car in front of you pulls over[x2x][:0][:u][:x)]
2010/10/23 18:09:28
Scott
You carry a screw driver to re-attach the window winder for when it falls off.
2010/10/26 13:29:00
Timmeh
You choose your next family car purchase based on it's ability to tow the Escort
2010/08/11 19:48:41
Scott
When you permanently remove the windshield washer system because it never works.
2010/09/11 12:25:22
Juiceman
quote:
Originally posted by Scott

When you permanently remove the windshield washer system because it never works.


I can't believe how many of these I can relate to!!!! [88]
2010/09/11 14:50:44
PeterM


I recently noticed in my Escort panel van (my daily) I always (religiously) carry a small tool box with tools which will assist repair any difficulty at any time.

Sort of a guarantee, maybe a piece of mind thing.

I can't recall if I have ever needed it though. In the nearly 25 years I have owned it, the panel van has never broken down or refused to start anywhere else other than the front yard at home. I have never needed to tow it at any time.

I drive other cars, including the Mrs' car, however it has never occured to me to carry a tool box in these cars.


2010/09/11 22:43:44
krt10
dont take it out peter. you know what will happen if you do
2010/09/11 23:11:15
Bodie
You know you drive an escort when, The old girl at Vic roads says " Oh its one of those, my first boyfriend had one, with a sly smile and a twinkle in her eye.
2010/11/18 20:13:14
grant
not sure about anyone else, but you get pulled over by the police every time you drive it for random breath and license checks
2010/11/18 21:14:10
David W
quote:
Originally posted by grant

not sure about anyone else, but you get pulled over by the police every time you drive it for random breath and license checks


Is there a correlation with your Wanted to Buy topic (ie: does 1 cause the other)?

quote:
Originally posted by grant

anyone got a 354 diff in brisbane?
2010/11/18 22:03:34
240corty
you get passed by a cortina[:x)]
2010/11/22 23:41:54
Scott
quote:
Originally posted by 240corty

you get passed by a cortina[:x)]


when you pass a cortina [88][:x)]
2010/11/23 00:09:39
240corty
quote:
Originally posted by Scott

quote:
Originally posted by 240corty

you get passed by a cortina[:x)]


when you pass a cortina [88][:x)]


then break down[88]
2010/11/23 13:27:08
ricktewagon
You have to wait in the car while she satisfys her customers, then whilst driving fas you get passed by a cortina[:p]
2010/11/24 21:27:00
Juiceman
This one's probably already in here - You opt for the Type 9 5spd upgrade partially because of the 5th gear, but MAINLY because you've had the 4spd shifter come flying out of the gearbox and you know that a shifter that's bolted in has less chance of coming out in your hand than a nylon threaded one.
2010/11/25 07:26:52
Richomk1
Haha nice one Muzza, i thought someone else would put it in there. I was gonna say when you go to punch third but end up punching the dash, with the stick still in your hand.
quote:
Originally posted by muzza

When on fast take off at the lights you flat shift into 2nd and the gearstick comes off.
2010/11/27 12:12:39
ratta tat tat
when... random motorists can't wait to tell you how awesome your car is!
2010/11/27 21:39:45
ratta tat tat
quote:
Originally posted by whooligan

You can turn your indicator off with your knee.



Hahahahahaha. great 1
2010/11/27 21:42:16
smallvan
[:u]You guys are scaring a first time escort owner. [:u][:u][:u]
2010/11/28 09:18:59
jimmyd
quote:
Originally posted by smallvan

[:u]You guys are scaring a first time escort owner. [:u][:u][:u]


99% of these issues are present in any 'classic' car - just with an escort you can
a. fix it yourself, and
b. look stylish while doing it[88]
2010/11/28 18:16:28
Sterling
i cant wrap my head around how many posts im reading about shifters coming off/out???

its never happened to me! ive had 2 gearbox's in my mk2, with 3 different shifters... ive broken one of them but they have never come off....

even had an old guy at the petrol station give me a talk about one he used to have, then ask me if the shifter ever fell off?
2010/11/28 19:39:50
krt10
happened to me twice. bought a quickshift, problem solved
2010/11/28 22:26:55
David W
I haven't had one pull out, but I've broken about 5 of them over the years (including my 1100cc Mk 1 that had NO power what'sover).

Moral to the story - a $15 cheapie from China is good for about 15 gearchanges. No problems with the Quaife
2010/11/28 22:35:27
T_Mark
[quote Moral to the story - a $15 cheapie from China is good for about 15 gearchanges. No problems with the Quaife


Just like the cheap ebay replica of the MK2 indicator stalk. Mine lasted about 15 corners then fell apart. [:I]
2010/11/29 20:01:00
Sterling
quote:
Originally posted by T_Mark

[quote Moral to the story - a $15 cheapie from China is good for about 15 gearchanges. No problems with the Quaife


Just like the cheap ebay replica of the MK2 indicator stalk. Mine lasted about 15 corners then fell apart. [:I]


haha! i was going to buy one of those, but ended up repairing the standard ford one
2010/11/30 11:42:24
Scott
quote:
Originally posted by krt10

happened to me twice. bought a quickshift, problem solved


That must be why I've never had that happen, I've always had a quickshift.
But my father did ended with the gear stick by the rear doors in his old Esky Van.
2010/11/30 20:57:29
INBreplica
You know you drive an Escort when you indicate with your windscreen wipers or find yourself constantly scouring classifieds for parts.
They may have their faults,but as Jeremy Clarkson says "Owning an Escort is like having a 2 year old child.It can be really annoying at times,but if someone tries to take it away from you,you would kill them"
2010/03/12 20:31:13
David W
quote:
They may have their faults,but as Jeremy Clarkson says "Owning an Escort is like having a 2 year old child.It can be really annoying at times,but if someone tries to take it away from you,you would kill them"


Some days I'd give it away - but even if I left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition and a $50 note on the dash - all I'd lose is the $50 note
2010/03/12 21:09:25
smiley_666
quote:
Originally posted by Sterling

i cant wrap my head around how many posts im reading about shifters coming off/out???

its never happened to me! ive had 2 gearbox's in my mk2, with 3 different shifters... ive broken one of them but they have never come off....

even had an old guy at the petrol station give me a talk about one he used to have, then ask me if the shifter ever fell off?



ive had it happen... with my grandma in the passenger seat. took longer trying to explain why we were pulled over than it did to half fix it
2010/04/12 17:13:07
PeterM

Maybe there are good drivers and bad drivers out there...

I have been driving my Escorts continuously since May 1980 and never once had the gear shift even come loose.

Maybe part of the problem is the plastic nut on the bottom of the shift has not been properly locked and tends to work itself loose.
2010/04/12 21:29:47
wombat2509
quote:
Originally posted by PeterM


Maybe part of the problem is the plastic nut on the bottom


might be the nut hanging on to the top[88]
2010/04/12 22:44:57
INBreplica
quote:
Originally posted by PeterM




Maybe part of the problem is the plastic nut on the bottom of the shift has not been properly locked and tends to work itself loose.

Another area to look at with shifters is the thread in the extension housing. When the nylon insert loosens,it wears the alloy in the centre of the threaded portion. No matter what type of shifter you use,or how well it is fitted,will only stay put for a short time.
I found this with the single rail BW in my 351 XD falcon.
I rebuillt the shifter 3 or 4 times with replacement threaded insert,fitted 2 brand new Ford shifters with no success. It was only after I replaced the housing at a later date that I was able to fix it properly.
2010/05/12 10:21:47

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