This is a standard gearbox:
This is the adapter:
This is the same standard gearbox with adapter installed (circled). It just screws into the gearbox. Take it out, and it's a standard gearbox once again.
The height of the exposed part of the adapter should be the same height as the 23mm section of your gearstick located below the threaded nylon section and above the top of the fork.
Based on your measurements, the pivot point of your RS stick is raised by 23mm when combined with the adapter, thus moving the pivot point up by 23mm resulting in a shorter throw at the top of the gearstick.
If the adapter is protruding out of the gearbox extension housing by 21mm instead of 23mm, then the notch in the stick will be too low and you will have no reverse lockout, which is, correct me if I'm wrong, what is happening in your case. On the other hand, if the adapter is protruding out of the gearbox extension housing by 25mm, then the stick will be too high and will require an extra 2mm of downward pushing in order to select reverse.
So, what is the height of the exposed part of the adapter which is installed in your gearbox and circled in the photo above.
Chuff